‘Read all about it’

It’s been a while since I last posted anything on my blog, so thought I had better pop by to say hi and to say we’re still here! I can’t give you a definite reason why I haven’t posted anything, I guess I just needed time away, time to hide my feelings and thoughts in a box and not post for the world to read. Maybe it’s this time of year, late spring into early summer, the safety net of winter feeling so far out of reach. It’s always a difficult time of year and in some ways as Livvy grows older and more aware of what her future will be it becomes increasingly more difficult to get through the hot long days of summer without some tears, sometimes from me, sometimes from Livvy, sometimes from both of us.

To be honest I was ready to quit this blog, take it down and lock it away forever. I think as Livvy and Eddie grow older and their peers start to have a presence on social media I have had to ask myself if I want my blog out there to be read by peers of my children. You could argue that it will help with their understanding of what living with XP is like, but you could argue that it could be used against them. Secondary school is creeping up on us and I have first hand experience of how cruel teenage children can be to one another, I don’t want my blog to be an accelerant of that cruelty.

My main reason for starting this blog was to help others understand XP and how it is to have a child with such an unique condition. It’s also been a good form of therapy for me as a mother to have somewhere to vent my frustrations. Although this blog has been helpful for many reasons over the past few years I always knew in the back of my mind that a day would come where I no longer felt I could share so much, so publicly.

I was happy to leave my blog as it was, not even revisit it for one final post, I stopped checking my stats weeks ago to see how far and wide it was reaching. Then over the weekend I heard a song that I haven’t heard for a while and it pulled me right back into this world of writing my feelings and views down. Now here I am on this Tuesday morning sat in front of my laptop with my fingers beating away at the keyboard, out pouring my recent feelings through my finger tips.

I’m sure most of my dear readers will be familiar with the song that has relit my need to write all about XP. It’s sung by Emili Sande and is called ‘Read all about it, Pt III’ go give it a listen. Every now and again a song reaches into your soul and wakes you up from a sleep you didn’t realise you were in and maybe this song that I’ve heard a thousand times before did just that.

So I guess I’m back, back to blogging about living with XP, I don’t know how long for (or even if you’re glad to have me back) but for now I’m back and I will again do my best to write all about XP so you my dear readers can indeed ‘read all about it’.


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